After the first of the year, I will start regularly sharing my musing through my other love - probably truth told, my first love - writing. Musings might be a bit deep for every post, but you will certainly get a taste of what’s on my mind. I don't remember a time in life that I didn't love writing. I still have the “book” I wrote in 4th grade - the cover appropriately designed with pink crepe paper, abstractly painted with watercolors. I've been writing all along - working on my book writing for myself, writing for clients and writing for my business. But it's time that I write about what's deep down. My passions, My loves. My life. My truth. Not to preach or pretend to know it all with deep philosophical thoughts. But maybe to just connect with another human being that can relate.
More to come on the launch of "My Musings" and its purpose later, but today I dip my toe in the water with what I am calling #truthtuesday. Social media is overflowing in abundance with perfected photos, in an effort to put up a facade or cover up truth - not in a bad, shady kind-of-way, but in a way that we all feel like we need to present these perfect life moments that some days just don't exist.
With #truthtuesday, I will share my “truth” for that day, of the day, with the hopes of unmasking what isn’t for what is - without judgement or expectation. Simply, fact in the what is. It's about transparency. And I hope that it encourages others to do the same. The truth doesn’t have to be ugly, it doesn’t have to be pretty, it doesn't have to be exciting, it doesn't have to be boring, it doesn’t have to have emotion connected to it all - it simply needs to be #yourtruth on #truthtuesday. So here goes.
#truthtuesday - November, 29, 2016
Today I hurt. Everywhere. But it is a better day than the last four days have been. So there’s the silver lining. But the frustration, not as good as pre-October. Stress, weather, work, life...I've allowed them to undo me. My body takes the hit first. I am so body aware that usually, I can stop and rebound quickly. But this time everything snowballed, and I'm working my way back from a deeper, uglier hole. Yesterday, I got myself to early morning spin and fit wall class. When I hurt, it is even more important that I keep working out - keep moving. Then, later in the day I taught what I love most - my Adaptive Yoga class. And then I was done. I came home and slept for three hours. A good night's sleep saved me. Sleep always helps to heal the previous day, allowing me to deal with "what is" when I wake. I got my butt to physical therapy early this morning where the amazing Dr. Ashley Hoath (coalcreekpt.com) helped put my body back together for today. Afterwards, I thought I could make it through Pilates. I even got myself there and inside only to give my instructor a hug, and turn around to head home. But here is the thing about living with chronic pain and disease. You don’t get a day off. If it gets really bad you may take a day here and there, but the reality is you learn how to “do life” as is. It's a choice. And let me be clear here, every single person who lives with pain and disease on a chronic level who chooses to live - looks different from another! Living for one person may be simply the goal and achievement of getting out of bed and to the couch for the day. And that is AWESOME. And for another it may be going to a job and making it home at the end of the day. That is AWESOME too. For me, some days it's putting on makeup - because it makes me feel pretty and present and human! And that is AWESOME, as well. There should NEVER be any judgement or expectation of what LIVING with chronic pain and disease looks like. NOR should someone living in that body compare themselves to anyone else - EVER. I could go on, but that is a blog post for another day.
But today, I still want to slay. I want work. I want to feel productive. I want to make awesome things happen. I want to practice yoga. I want to teach yoga. I want to write. So I put my head down, take a deep breath and go. I won't beat myself up that Pilates didn't happen. That's just for today...and what is. Thursday or next Tuesday, Pilates will probably be in the cards. So I stay present. I don't allow my mind to wander to the "what ifs" because that doesn't serve me now.
So today, no fancy pictures of me with my legs over my head in some crazy yoga pose, or even my feet in badass pair of high heels ready to go out and kick-butt, but me - with fuzzy warm boots on too keep my feet from turning purple (purple is the new skin tone with newly diagnosis Raynaud’s Disease and Chilblains - super sexy!), glasses on - girl boss at work (and one whose eyes are aging and need glasses to see), with an ice pack strapped her bum hip and Quadratus Lumborum (QL) to help the pain, and a 10-pound sandbag on her thighs to help keep her grounded and focused (Fibromyalgia makes it nearly impossible to focus some days due to what is called Fibro Fog. Another post, another day.) So today, this is how I slay. Instagram sexy? Probably not. But it’s real. #truthtuesday
Until next Tuesday, loves. What’s your truth?
#truthtuesday #whatisyourtruthtoday #girlboss #todayIslay #chronicpainthriver #chronicdiseasethriver #warriorwoman #silverlinings #thisiswhatreallookslike #yesIwillprobablynaplater #butyoudontlooksick #butiam #butitstilldoesntstopmecompletely #kahyoga #accessibleyoga #adaptiveyoga #yogaforeverybody